Friday, April 27, 2012

And, The Winner of The Cadeau Is. . .

When I decided to start blogging I had no idea how to execute my momentous decision. So, I did what any ignorant person might do. I bought two paperback guides to help me fathom this terrifying new adventure.

My niece did all the basic set-ups and then I turned to my how-to books to see what one should offer on her fledgling blog. Of course I knew the subject, but I was convinced these books would give me an "edge"-- you know, in the old-fashioned sense of the word as opposed to "edgy". . .

Hmmm, "plain English". . .  I missed this one. Maybe it's not too late.
Within the pages of the techie code speak, which I could not and will never be able to understand, were a few tidbits in real language which the editors must have insisted be included in order to push sales up to a few hundred copies. This is where I learned the most important rules of the game:

1.) Do not tell your potential readers what you ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner -- nobody cares.

2.) Try to write well.

3.) Tip: Typing words in all caps reduces reading speed by 10% and can put readers off by giving the appearance of shouting. (Well, HELLO!, that's what all caps were designed to do.)

4.) Keep paragraphs short.

5.) Try not to be depressing.

6.) Stay focused. (Whatever.)

7.) Do not write a post explaining to potential readers why you are not writing a post.

I am about to break rule number seven. Yes, I shall now tell you why this is not a real post today. It's because: when I click on "Publish" I'm off to meet my great friend Pseu creator of the delightful blog Une Femme for lunch, gossip and shopping. These excursions are an annual event.

It's true, I probably should have written a real post last night but I had a large glass of Chablis and I figured I would have broken rule six and probably two as well.

***Now, the most important business of the day: the winner of Jennifer Beaudet's painting. If you click here, Jennifer will tell you.


Femme Francophile said...

When I first considered starting to blog I thought that it would all be too hard with all the rules. À friend flagged with me that there are no real rules for blogging. It is up to us which 'rules' we take on or not. This was very liberating. I now think of them as guidelines rather than rules. If someone wants to blog about what they had for breakfast, I say go ahead. I don't have to
read it.

Villette said...

Please tell Une Femme that I am enjoying the photographs of her current trip enormously -- they are great snaps. Also please tell her I sometimes look at my most extraordinary Hermes scarf, bought in Paris in 1969 when I was a student -- obviously, I insist, a remarkably young student -- that was a special by Hermes: two classic-sized square scarves in the Zodiac pattern, folded and sewn together to make the kind of long, narrow scarf (almost 6 ft long by 11.5") that was fashionable then. I always wonder what better way Une Femme could figure out to tie or fold it. Meanwhile, I look forward to an account of your lunch -- and perhaps a picture taken at the restaurant on Une Femme's blog?

The enchanted home said...

This is great, I had no idea such a book even existed..too funny! Have a great weekend.

Anonymous said...

You're funny when you break the rules! Hope you'll tell us what you and Une Femme had for lunch :-) jac

Lost in Provence said...

1) Oops. My current post is about my dinner and then lunch the next day.
4) OOPS. (oh crap, now I just waddled into rule #3)
5 and 6) Oops and oops again.

Sigh. Good thing I never picked up this book (and truly, how dearly do I love that you did?) because I would be stuck in a sand bog by now!

I hope that you have had a wonderful time at lunch...Bon weekend!

J. Beaudet said...

Have a wonderful time at your meeting! I think I need this book!

helen tilston said...

Hello Tish

What a fun post. I could live with all the bloops given with the exception of #5.

As Pretty Far West blogger, Mise recently said - extract:-
"Blogtopian Constitution affirms that everything is lovely, even if it isn't. This here isn't reality, people, and mustn't be confused with it. Everything is always lovely, everyone is always sweet, and no one doubts that you made that jam yourself."

Perhaps an addendum is needed for the Blogger rules.

Wonderful Tish and have a lovely time with your friend

Helen xx

kathy peck said...

I want the two bags you bought. That's it. Hope you and Susan have a fun time.

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

Have fun with Deja Pseu!
I should get my mitts on that book as I have already made some of those mistakes!
Do show us what you and Deja Pseu find to buy!

Karena said...

Have a great time!

Everyone already knows I don't post every day sometimes not even once a week....I think there is a For Dummies book on every topic in the world, Ha!

Art by Karena

BigLittleWolf said...

I love your #7. Actually, I am curious as to what you eat for breakfast...

I love what you've created here.

'Nuf said.


webb said...

As I recall you did a whole post on what French women eat for ... was it breakfast, lunch or both? It was very interesting.

I think only dummies follow that book! And you are not one.

Fashion art and other fancies said...

Rules? Can't stand them!;-)

Delana@dujour said...

I have the same book. I also have Problogger:Secrets for Blogging Your Way to a Six Figure Income. Obviously I've read NEITHER ONE OF THEM!

Tish Jett said...

My way to a six figure income!!! I've got to get a hold of that one. . .

RoseAG said...

For me #4 is critical.

People read in chunks. If your paragraph gets too long only the first and last words are processed.

If it's important enough to write why waste it?

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